it took some clearing

it took some clearing
to lead my heart
to His heart
and in the gentleness
of His arrival
I know Who
carries me through
how I don't
deserve such
tenderness and love
so I offer this
as a Praise
to His sweet
gentle Name....Jesus
My friend, my King

a reminder

I am thankful
for the chasing
of the Wind
where I am
not left
to be lost
but each
silence
so deafening and
searching
brings me to
remind myself
I am not alone

being this human

and it may sound like another
tribute to the nothings
of my heart
a filled mind on the
brink of real time
and there seems to
be a limit to the held
fears and everything
that goes along
with living..
and in the
carelessness
of our selfish hours
how we don't discern
beyond broken glass
the pieces glisten as if to make
some sense
and if we can, and let ourselves see
we can see each
holds a purpose

the leading of words

I sometimes wonder where
the first line will lead..
I wonder where I will
find You
in the middle of writing
if You'll appear in
the clearness
of words
without the clamor
of human things
I write the surfaces
and I get into deeper
layers and
there throbs unsettling pain
I thought I was afraid to mention
that in this moment
I am bare, exposed to You

on borders of no faith

there is a certain worry
among feeling no faith
it panics in fear to grab hold
of stability
where peace sustains
and I know it's nothing
brought forth
from me
and I know there's nothing
in me that could make
me peaceful
but just knowing the
faithfulness of God
I believe in time
in the slow grueling
finding out
and learning
He comes to relieve me
from myself

and they all come

I can know this moment
with all its disarray of color
with all its malady
and sting
the digging and
piling again
emotions bought
and born
if these walls break
how much more
can my heart
burst into a fluid exiting

out of the forest

Into the forest of darkness
I went...
and I knew no light beyond the
leaves of the trees
as I wrote on each leaf
I wrote on rocks and dust
my despair
I grieved in a muster
of imaginations and believed
each of the voices
treacherous with their accusations
and my heart began to discolor
and decay ...
into the breath of hauntings
which filled me many days into years
ruthless into the plunge of lost
so I roamed half of me
throughout the beneath; the dome
of black shadows hover
had I have known the depths of broken
the remnants, stained on crevices not yet cleaned
for here the wind blows an opening
separating leaves consuming the stale darkness
and yellow, no ....white
streams breaks forth the glistening upon leaves.
whence came Heaven I cannot recall
the moment of saving, the recovery
in an instance
though I know my way through the forest
with lighted steps in the mud
each passing of whispers, each wincing move away
from the too well-known
they piece together
pieces of me gather themselves
as leaves fall slowly
and softly makes it to the ground
and there in a truth I have not faced
a break and a cry
the light begins it's healing

here is a place of peace

here is a place I long to leave

a cup of words flawed and stained

a refuge once a home to

my confused mind

a place where humanity takes

its tender corner and relieves

abundant trouble and dark
looms by as to stay in
comforts of isolation

here is a place I long to be

spilled over and naked
as dealings of my heart
is recorded ..

only now, I am aware

that God must know the happenings

of my thoughts

where they go and where they lead
the meandering away from Grace

and how He must want to 

replace each doubt, each guilty notion
for peace

an opening

this late night..
nothing settles
and I yearn for
the calmness of Your
presence
have I turned aside
to blaring sirens
of concern..
blocking out
Your calling
to me..
how I abhor
my thoughts against
Your ways
as they are faithful
they are peace
but this night
in the slow passing
of hours, the gentle care
of angels occupy
the scene with praise
still
and the heart, my heart
opens to take in
a breath and exhale
my case in a long
letting go
an opening for
the light to come
through

deep summoning of thoughts

this moment slows


in the speed


of my thoughts


as they have


trouble sleeping..


a summoning


from the deep caverns


and in the quiet


contemplating,


the long


stretch of minutes,


I carefully


begin


to find the


surface

venturing of lines

These lines will voice from another

To which it has spoken before

In search and finding it sought out

Crevices unresolved  to never be repaired

Only to swim in and be drenched in sorrow,

Expressing the woe as to drown

In the blackness again and again

Can this be all this writing can do

Can the pen seek refuge in relief and

Never learn solace in peace

What teachings will rise the soul to freedom

Or what words seek its rescue

I have ventured honestly through these lines

To break walls and fall the barrier of clenching silence

I write them to lead me to better compositions

Answers to questions that inquire my

Reason of being

They go endless and eager as if

They know to Whom they

Belong

the purpose of words

the purpose of words
I have now known
their bearing,
a cutting and
puncturing
through the soul
a releasing of
cherished things
that could not speak
but written in code and
carefulness
an ease as swift as
the tongue of hands
could utter
and the shaping
they begin to take
have all but built
a mountain of solace

Of this day not like others

Today the light shuns it's rays
somewhere else
and my eyes drift as in

chasing where they must
be hearing a earnest prayer
have I tarried in the darkness
I thought could never reach me?
and the thundering of faith has
not shaken me they have
all been a silent invisible
audience to my distress..
I must bear and I must wait
for your deliverance will come
and I am sinking in this search
and discovery of deep things
ignored and not bothered
how the work is close to its
end, how I want relief...
I bear in trembling
I seek beyond the gloom and even so
I know my God will save me