In the thick
of this moment
unclear
and disheartening
i don't know
where I am

as this chair
does not remove
me from these things
i am wanting
freedom from
the noise of my mind
from the voices
that taunt and accuse

i am needing to
see Your face
to be embraced by
Your love
and there is no
withholding
from You

and the wait of
blessings
rest
on
me believing
that You are
already
loving me...

how eyes see

how the eyes
pierce to find....
and i cannot
discern the
truth of
their search....
as i wonder
in each gaze
each turning
away
each ponder
of me
not knowing
the thoughts
they possess
i only am
compelled to
know
which eyes
love me

I am loved

the breath of courage slowly exhales

and the path is laid

beaten and rough

i think my soul finally doesn't know

all that You can see

i am from dust and because

You know my frame

i surrender; white flags are rising up

And i remember to know that

I am loved

in the rest of thinking
where i like to sit
on the mountain of
my mind
i look out on the paths
of my life
some obscure
and unfinished
some flowing with pain
and i don't know or rather
i never knew
when i began...
the ending of each
i only knew the way
of going
the step and breath
with eyes attentive to
the turns
and the pavement
and in all the trails
of this journey
i perhaps fell
a few times
and sat on the
side for awhile
trying to measure
the distance
trying to figure
out the way
and i learned
that i just needed to
go, to keep walking
without really
understanding why
i needed to learn
as i went
the direction forward
stepping into
i will always
go

everyone else feels the same

I have slowed the time
with my bothered thoughts
and I am collecting the days scenes
as they flash against the sky
in my mind..
there are regrets of things said
realizations of my fragility
and tired I have become
of facing these days
as if they would kill me
how i could not see passed it
but i lived it in real time
and felt frustrated with
my hearts choosing
all the while the sun still
shined and no one loved me less
so it reminds me
that God could very well
still like me
even today

the rim of crimson existenc

I believe the rim shining

In the crimson

distance

Has its eye on me

I stagger with

weight

Of trying

too much..

Too little of

Letting go,

I sometimes

forget I can

bust open

And gush out red

existence 

knowing my language

my voice muttered through

the realms of cluttered air

I could say

anything in

the privacy of my mind

without the sound

of throat and

distracted tones

I cried real things suppressed 

and confessed my

turmoil in silence

and quiet

burdens

there is not a peace i find

than here in

the chamber

of grace where you

hear me

and know the machinery

of my being

and every time I come and kneel

You make sense of

all that that I cannot say...

everything is not important

I saw the sky unravel its

thick grey

they parted and blue

poured out its hope

and there was no need

for answers nor

evidence amongst trembling

breaths and

surviving

I was ok with not

knowing everything..

untucked

my mind stretches

far

 

and still I find

 

neglected things

tucked

under folds of feeling

 

discovery

 

comes

just when I

 

don't want it to

how inches of me

become tried

and stirred

things revealed

come to me

 

asking

 

"will you be

honest with me"

unfitting

Unfitting how there is

not a line to tell of

this moment

how I arrest my

heart to this..

and no artful

expression

can convey the

 

many silences

of my soul

and it's still

 

unfitting in 

this place

when I know 

sacred

 

moments belong

 

only to the 

stillness

of being